Today I Have Longing To- See Life His Way

The past couple weeks have been rough for me. I'll spare you all the boring details and just say health wise, I haven't felt very good… at all!! 

No, my point of this blog post was not to tell you about how terrible my week has been. 

You probably don't want to hear because you have your own trials, I know. 

I'm not going to lie to you… I battled with discouragement this past week and you want to know why? Because in "my way" of seeing I get so centered on my little 4x4 square of life that I forget to ask the Lord to help me look up and see things "His way". To think "His way".  

People will ask me things like- Do you ever get discouraged? Do you think you're getting better? Is this or that medicine working? How long do you think you'll be sick? Is this something you'll battle the rest of your life? Do you feel good about the doctor and treatment plan you have chosen?

Discouragement in my life, is only a sign of my lack of trust in the one who has made me and controls each cell in my body. It's easy to become discouraged when we get focused on the waves and forget the one who has given them. I so often slip into the world of "Natural Law". That is this organism, so you take this medication to kill that. That is caused by this toxin or that food, so we eliminate that by not doing this. It is so scientific, right? I mean they can see all these things under a telescope. 

Now, do I believe that God in His providential ways uses physical means to work about His purposes? Yes! most assuredly! But I don't believe in Natural Law.  The truth is I need to stop seeing my sickness as something caused by this disease or that. I need to see it as God's gift to me. Every parasite, every bacteria, every toxin, every gene. He has put it there for me… because He is the Potter. We can't separate spiritual things from physical things. They are all connected. 

I have people all around me telling me I'm going to get better and I believe that. But each day I live I have to daily surrender to the Lord the timetable of my life. If I am trusting Him with my future there is absolutely NO reason to become discouraged. Hasn't He promised to give me exceedingly and abundantly far more than I could ever ask or imagine?

Instead of asking myself how much longer I can hold on. I will ask myself this- 

Would I honestly be content with being weak and ill the rest of my life? I mean, would I? Am I only optimistic about this because my doctor thinks I'll get better or am I optimistic because I have looked through the eyes of God and seen a future brimming with hope for the kingdom of Christ? Am I more concerned about getting well than I am learning what God wants to teach me? Do I see this as beautiful because He has chosen it for me?

So my heart's desire is that I will quit worrying about, if this will fix that, or how much longer it is going to take, but that I will long for the things God longs for me. That He'll lift me up and help me see, the great and wondrous things He has in store for those who walk uprightly.