Photo Shoot- P Portraits

Here are several pictures from a photo shoot I did in downtown Manitou. Super fun!

Isn't this door the neatest thing ever!!!

She had one of the most adorable personalities ever! I love spending time with people that laugh a ton. Joy is so contagious!

Photo Shoot- IPS Scarves and Hats

Here are the pictures from today's assignment. The assignment was to incorporate scarves and hats, those two items being the focus of the shot. We had to take pictures with the flash on the camera, and off the camera using it as a hair light. 

Photo Shoot- IPS Coffee

This week Madison and I have been able to be a part of the IPS Digital Photography 2 class!!! It's been fantastic so far. Our assignment was to take pictures within the category of coffee paraphernalia, using our flashes, radio slaves, and soft boxes. Yeah, kind of tricky since, one I don't know how to use my flash at all, two never really have tried, and three really like natural lighting. As challenging as I found it, I loved being put out of my comfort zone. Even though I will always be a natural light kind of girl, I'm learning to appreciate the times when it really can be necessary and extremely helpful.  Here are several of my favorite shots that I captured. ENJOY!!

Today I Have a Sense of- Budding Life

Oh what goodness! What unfathomable goodness surrounds my every moment of each passing day. What am I, that the Lord of all should follow all my days with goodness and mercy? What wretchedness lies within this breast of mine. Yet His affection is all mine through the pierced hands of the Lamb.

It becomes clear. I gain a glimpse.

Oh how different this woe appears now than at my first sight upon it. The voicing of each sigh, and those tears so painfully shed are for the moment removed. Joy leaps within my soul. What a gift! Agony and blessing working in harmony as a happy instrument, accomplishing the purpose of good. Showering me with love. Presenting me with mercy.

With gratitude and praise, I lift my hands. The aching delight of seeing Him peel back each thick layer of scales. It hurts. But I now see the refreshment brought forth from the death left behind. I feel it, sanctifying me, changing me. The death and mortification, introducing newness of life.

His touch. Those pierced hands, are placed upon my very soul. Incredibly powerful, this small agonizing gesture of grace enfolds me. A sorrowing expression of love, gifted by a man of sorrows. 

What an offering. What an oblation. 

  

Yet the death stripped away still lingers. I catch sight of its presence lying about me. 

Then I feel those same blessed hands that were pierced for my reclamation, guide my attention elsewhere. 

Adjusting my focus, I look closely. There. The sowing, the toil, the suffering, had given rise to buds. Buds of life, life that He longs to witness forming within me. 

I feel His pleasure.

A smile spreads across my face. 

Rapidly, tears of gratitude stream down my face. I close my eyes, resting in His promises. Knowing, nothing can separate me from His goodness and mercy. I can't avoid them. They will never leave me. 

Glancing once more at the new buds of life so graciously given, I sigh, overwhelmed.

The overwhelming sense, the sigh. No longer of fear and anxiety but of trust and content.

My soul becomes quiet.

Yes! Lord it is lovely. I thank you... with all my heart.

"God brought me through many difficulties, tried me through various disappointments, at length carried it to the utmost point of hopelessness and it may way for some things which Providence saw needful for me... reflecting on my troubles, I clearly saw the need of them with a deal of convincing prayer, and my soul was made to see God's love in them all, and from my heart I was made to say, he had done all things well."

-Thomas Boston 

Today I Have a Longing for- Outlandish Faith

This post is for you. That loneliness you sometimes feel for being different. 

That stand your family has made. That illness, or hurt you are experiencing. It separates you in someway from being "normal", looking "normal", feeling "normal". 

I don't know your struggles. But I know this.

Faithful trusting and obeying, no matter the cost, brings great joy. 

You wait.

You will see.

"...And when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, when you hear the sound of the trumpet, then all the people shall shout with a great shout, and the wall of the city will fall down flat."

Jericho was defeated, HOW?!?

  

Faith calls us to strange places.
 Beyond the reaches of our comfort zone. Beyond the reaches of our understanding. Faith pulls us away to solid ground, providing us with a firm base on which to stand. No storm can shake this faith!

 Yet at the same time it pulls us away from the world around us. This world does not comprehend the sinking nature of the sand they are standing on. Faith guards us from the "normal" way of being, looking and feeling. 

Faith brings mortification.

Why? because it is NOT natural. The selfishness and pride of our hearts rejects all thought of needing direction. Especially directions WE can't comprehend. It is mortifying, it breaks us.                            

Faith has incredible power.

 Scripture tells us it can move mountains. But faith is not about the one who does the believing, it is about the one who gives the power to believe. 

Faith is not something we can do on our own. We not only need His strength to overcome the predicaments we place ourselves in, but we also need His strength to help us believe that He can overcome those predicaments. 

For true belief is brought about by a realization of the feebleness of our own devices, schemes, and power.

A self-confident and haughty man can never know what it is to trust himself to the guiding of the Lord. Who needs a guide when you are already familiar with everything?

I can only imagine how stupid and silly the Israelites must have felt as they marched around the wall of Jericho screaming. I can picture it. That family from Jericho sitting down to dinner, cackling over the  farcical actions of the Israelites. "Wonder where they learned their army tactics from?" Then BOOM! BANG! BOOM! The walls of Jericho come crashing down own their heads. 

As children of God our obedience to His commands will usually be answered by others with laughter, or disregard. This should not be our concern. God WILL condemn the wicked!

 The person who feels God's pleasure, does not fret or worry about the opinion of others. The men who give their allegiance to King Jesus will be mocked as He was. The ways of God will seem as foolish to men, but they will triumph!

Obedience and faith to God's ways yield victory!

Throughout scripture we see time and time again examples of men called to do outlandish things, trusting in faith that God would control the outcome. 

Noah building the ark. The scorn. What a mockery! 

Rain was something in their day that had never been experienced. It was crazy!

Gideon and his three hundred men. What a scandal! Smashing jars and blowing trumpets. That could never defeat the army of Midian.

Blood placed over the door. Really? The angel of death sounded kind of like a fairy tale. A splotch of blood isn't going to do any good. 

Water from a rock. Since when did rocks bring about springs of fresh water? That silly idea really isn't going to help the situation with thirst.

The ark, the smashing jars and blowing trumpets, the blood, the rock. It wasn't magic. It was faith. 

None of those things would do them any good without a stepping out in blind trust.

It took courage. It took bravery.

Others will sneer but what glorious things come from men and women walking by faith and not by sight!

Okay!
So faith calls us to do outlandish things. How does this apply to me?

You've been called to stand alone, to be "abnormal", and to do crazy things, so that not only you, but the entire world can see the mighty acts of God. 

Every suffering and trial we experience, when taken in faith, will bring about a bountiful harvest. We may not see for ourselves all the fruits of our labors, but they will reap. 

So when trials come into our lives, we must step out in faith and give thanks for each affliction. (And remember murmuring is NOT an act of faith!!!) When we complain we are telling God that we don't like the way He is providing for us and that we are not willing to humble ourselves before Him and trust His perfect plan.

C.S. Lewis said-

"When we complain of our suffering we are not asking God to love us more, we are asking Him to love us less." 

Are we clinging in faith to His promises or are we asking him to love us less? 

Remember, faith is the victory!

Lord, make us men and women of courage.

Supply us with outlandish faith.

Beauty and Confidence

The question swirls inside my head. I try to stop it. It will not leave.

I walk into my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Gazing back at me I see the face of a girl who spent much time in preparation that morning for a day in town. The hair once carefully teased and curled now stands rather flat and slightly wavy. The sparkly eye shadow, the buffed liner, the black mascara, the lined brows, the powder, the blush, the lipstick, all a little worn from a long exhausting day. And again the question raises itself- What is it all for? 

Looking down at my feet I see the navy blue flats I had placed on that morning, the full floral skirt finishing below the knee and my denim jacket buttoned up with the collar popped. I had received several complements on it that day. "Your outfit is so adorable!" 

Behind all of that makeup and those carefully placed clothes, I am not as confident as I pretend to be. What is my confidence really based upon anyway?

Beauty, does it really matter? All this work, all this effort. Is it worth it? I can't help but ask myself... are my motives really pure and righteous? How does God see style and beauty?

It had all started with that one question someone had asked me. "You aren't a very confident person, are you?" I had responded with a no and I honestly meant it. But should I be confident and if so in what? Because if I have to find my confidence in what stares back at me in the mirror, then my confidence level may as well be ranked in the sphere of non-existence. No amount of makeup, no impressive hairstyle, no stylish outfit could EVER give me confidence. So does all that extra work to appear "together" really matter? I wonder, am I just wasting my time? 

Then, it was that younger girl in my life, who I had noticed lately was trying to imitate me in my style and appearance. It had irritated me. All the questions about "this and that".

I felt as if I was being convicted about something. It was painful to watch someone replay you, for you. It shocked me. Not really the clothing but my heart about the whole thing. Had I actually begun to put my confidence in that? Is that why I appeared as someone with no confidence? I know I shouldn't place confidence within myself. But is confidence a bad thing all together? 

I walk into my closet and pick up a book that I read several months back. It was what I was searching for. The title, just the title. Really? Had I already forgotten without realizing, the message of that book?

The Biblical Perspective on-

Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Worth

I had read the book. I had agreed with the book. I had learned a lot from the book. I had been convicted by the book.

But wow, implementing it and living it out is WAY harder. I know self-esteem and self-confidence are not biblical. Why do I so easily slip back into placing confidence upon myself? It has never worked before.

Coming back into my room I grab my bible placed on my hope chest and take a seat in my pink and white gingham slipcover chair. I flip to one of my favorite passages in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31. 

God has not chosen to redeem me because I am so amazing, but because I am NOT so amazing. My not amazingness is His way of showing to all, His truly amazing grace. An undeserved grace. A gift given to the helpless and needy. So that we might not boast or put confidence in our flesh. Have I forgotten that? 

"Therefore, let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." 

Still seated, I pull back the linen curtain away from the window. I peer outside into an ending day. Oh God! I very much lack in my confidence of You and have become boastful in my own flesh. Not only because of my lofty thoughts for myself, but because of the scarcity of my lofty thoughts towards You.

Glancing once more out the window, I perceive an awesome array of colors displayed across the horizon.

You love beauty. I see it, everywhere.

Could it possibly be that my priorities in striving towards beauty are lopsided to Yours? Outward beauty is passing. Inward beauty never passes. A women who fears you with all her heart, there is true beauty. 

You made beauty. You define beauty. 

Although you love outward order, femininity, and well made beautiful clothing, You find much greater delight in seeing the beauty of a woman who places all her confidence in You because she knows that in herself there is nothing to boast. 

I close my eyes, begging God to fashion my heart in such a way, that all may see my life as one that radiates confidence staked on a man. Not noble. Not mighty. A cause for laughter and jest.
A servant, so we might see selflessness. A mockery, so that we might feel forgiveness. A bride price, so that we might know love.

The perfect life. The sacrificial death. The resurrection. The humility. The love. The ultimate victory. This is beauty. Beauty that will never discolor.

The light begins to fade as the rainbow of colors begins to diminish across the sky. Yes, even this will wane away.

I look once more into the mirror at the wearied face before me. The makeup, the hair, the clothes. They bring a sort of beauty... but not a lasting beauty. Physical beauty is homely, compared to the glorious and magnificent beauty that You long to witness in my inmost parts.

I am convicted as the Holy Spirit touches my heart. He whispers in my ear. 

"You must be more concerned about seeing MY beauty. You need to spend more time gazing into MY face. Beauty is a matter of the heart. Once you have beheld MY beauty, then and only then, will you be truly beautiful." 

A Quick Thank You!

Last week we celebrated my Dad's birthday and the two year anniversary of my Granddad's home going. It is kind of fitting is it not? A celebration of life mortal and life immortal. A giving thanks for an earthly beginning that will soon come to an end and an unearthly beginning that knows no end. 

Everything is put in perspective. Life is short. This race will soon be over. Faint not!

Exposure to death, in a personal way, supplies us with a new appreciation for life and the power of the resurrection. Oh what glory awaits the children of God!!!!

My reason for this post was to say thank you. To say thank you to the One who has mercifully provided me with a manly father who's heart for the Lord and vision for the future has allowed our family to be a part of His Kingdom's advancement. To say thank you for being allowed to be able to see for myself His faithfulness in the life of my Grandaddy and to learn and be challenged from a man who fought for what he knew was right with a heart for the needy and broken.  

I want to say thank you to my Dad who has shown me that we must always be reforming towards God's word regardless of what others might say or think. Daddy, I have watched you mourn. I have seen you laugh. I have observed you make difficult decisions. I have seen you gladly share your possessions with others. I have witnessed you come broken before the Lord. I have seen you cry. I have observed you lead. I have watched you stand up for truth. I have witnessed you making mistakes and admitting your wrong. I have seen you serve. I have seen you encourage. I have watched you instruct. I have observed you being instructed. I have perceived your love for Christ's Church. I have seen your commitment to being a part of a local body. You have disciplined me. You have poured yourself into me. You have taught me God's word. You have allowed me to experience history for myself. You have helped me pursue the talents and gifts God has given me. You have daily reminded me of God's goodness. You have shown me what it is to be hospitable. You have loved and instructed me. And for this I want to say Thank YOU!

I want to say thank you to my Grandfather, who to this day, is still my motivation to press on and conquer in Christ. He not only taught others to be fighters, he was one. As a child, his lessons drove me towards performing my absolute best whatever activity I was doing. Today as life's trials have become a bit bigger, I can still hear his loud voice shouting after me to strive forward. Life is a battle that as Christians we can NOT abstain from. The last week of his life my grandmother came out with a story about his childhood that none of us had heard, not even my dad. We all had known that his parents were divorced when he was a baby and that his mother had remarried and had two boys. Yet none of us had realized the lack of love he had received as a child. He had never told any of us about it. No, instead of becoming bitter over the situation, he was broken and God used his brokenness to change hundreds of lives. He was known for his compassionate heart towards kids in broken homes with no future. 

Grandaddy, you have inspired me to never give up, no matter how difficult it seems. You have helped me see that brokenness in one person's life can affect an abundance of other people. You have shown me that God delights in a heart of compassion. You have taught me what it's like to live for Christ. You have shown me what it is like to die for Christ. You have loved me. And for this I want to say Thank YOU!

I heard someone say that- "We should never pass up an opportunity to say thank you to someone who has touched our lives."

These men have done so much more than just touch my life. How can I EVER say thank you! 

 "I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus..." -1 Corinthians 1:4