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Showing posts with label today I have a sense of. Show all posts
Showing posts with label today I have a sense of. Show all posts

7.25.2013

Today I Have a Sense of- Other Pilgrim's Journeys


One of my prayers in the past year or so is that God would not only help me to see the blessings He is placing in my life through my illness, but that He would cause me to remember and relish.

So I wish to share with you a random blessing that I desire not to forget. It's not profound but I find it simply breathtaking. 

For the longest period of time, I dreaded hearing my name among other's conversations. People were always asking my Mom for an update on my health. It was humiliating. Why must everyone discuss me and my problems twenty four- seven? I could go on and on about how much God has changed my heart in this matter but I will spare you the details and just say this. NEVER shy away from sharing your weaknesses and sufferings with others. It will not only bless you but hundreds of others in ways you could never have imagined. I personally have been the recipient of incredible blessings from humble souls, more than willing to pour out their bleeding hearts before me. Suffering, among each member of the body, even in all of it's unpleasantness, brings great unity to the Church as a whole.

Have you ever caught yourself in conversation with someone and find yourself blinking, hoping and praying that you are not dreaming? The person across from you seems to be flowing forth wisdom. As the conversation moves forward, you catch sight of the source from which the fountain flows. The scar, the wound, deep within their side. Tears well up within your eyes, then you glance upward and regard a beaming face. You gaze deep into the eyes of this faithful pilgrim and you sense a quietude of soul reigning within. A peace beyond belief, a calm assurance in Christ.
And it causes you to marvel. You ask yourself- Who am I to be benefitting from this blessed saint? Their contented joy seems almost unearthly and you feel more than honored when they ask you to join with them in prayer for whatever their struggle may be.

God has allowed me numerous times to come in contact with incredible sturdy believers because of that very "problem" that I at times so wish to avoid. It happens to me all the time now- "Oh, have you met Meghan, I know she has had some similar health issues."
Not only am I blessed over and over again by the mercy and work of Christ in other's lives, it has helped me put my problems in perspective, when I watch others remaining steadfast as they endure much greater hardship than I ever have.



As a selfish person, my tendency is to turn inward whenever I experience personal loss. Forgetting to look outside my own little bubble, I begin to think my own life is doubly hard compared to everyone else's.
"I don't think they really understand just how hard this is!"
Satan works diligently to assure me of the validity behind this lie and there have been times in which I have bitten into this falsehood. Each time, I have found that when I choose to dwell on my own burdens I miss out on reaping some of God's greatest gifts given, to comfort my soul.
Usually when I am feeling alone in my journey of suffering it is because I am thinking too highly of myself to stoop down and consider the sorrows and pains of those around me. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

My Father's mercy is such a mystery. I don't want to miss out on the awesome gift of partaking in the bounty of His labor in other's lives!!! 

For the humble pilgrim, this journey and passage is never made alone.




4.09.2013

Today I Have a Sense of- Budding Life

Oh what goodness! What unfathomable goodness surrounds my every moment of each passing day. What am I, that the Lord of all should follow all my days with goodness and mercy? What wretchedness lies within this breast of mine. Yet His affection is all mine through the pierced hands of the Lamb.

It becomes clear. I gain a glimpse.
Oh how different this woe appears now than at my first sight upon it. The voicing of each sigh, and those tears so painfully shed are for the moment removed. Joy leaps within my soul. What a gift! Agony and blessing working in harmony as a happy instrument, accomplishing the purpose of good. Showering me with love. Presenting me with mercy.

With gratitude and praise, I lift my hands. The aching delight of seeing Him peel back each thick layer of scales. It hurts. But I now see the refreshment brought forth from the death left behind. I feel it, sanctifying me, changing me. The death and mortification, introducing newness of life.
His touch. Those pierced hands, are placed upon my very soul. Incredibly powerful, this small agonizing gesture of grace enfolds me. A sorrowing expression of love, gifted by a man of sorrows. 
What an offering. What an oblation. 

  
Yet the death stripped away still lingers. I catch sight of its presence lying about me. 
Then I feel those same blessed hands that were pierced for my reclamation, guide my attention elsewhere. 

Adjusting my focus, I look closely. There. The sowing, the toil, the suffering, had given rise to buds. Buds of life, life that He longs to witness forming within me. 

I feel His pleasure.

A smile spreads across my face. 

Rapidly, tears of gratitude stream down my face. I close my eyes, resting in His promises. Knowing, nothing can separate me from His goodness and mercy. I can't avoid them. They will never leave me. 

Glancing once more at the new buds of life so graciously given, I sigh, overwhelmed.
The overwhelming sense, the sigh. No longer of fear and anxiety but of trust and content.
My soul becomes quiet.

Yes! Lord it is lovely. I thank you... with all my heart.


"God brought me through many difficulties, tried me through various disappointments, at length carried it to the utmost point of hopelessness and it may way for some things which Providence saw needful for me... reflecting on my troubles, I clearly saw the need of them with a deal of convincing prayer, and my soul was made to see God's love in them all, and from my heart I was made to say, he had done all things well."
-Thomas Boston 




3.11.2013

Today I Have a Sense of- Faith's Riches



"Since the Lord deals bountifully with all, every one becomes partaker of His gifts according to the measure of his own faith. If, then, we are empty or needy, that proves the deficiency of our faith; for if we only enlarge the bosom of faith, God is always ready to fill it." 
- John Calvin 

  May my prayer forever be, Lord increase my faith!

7.03.2012

Today I Have a Sense of- Weariness

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."-Matthew 11:28

"We thank Thee Lord, for weary days
When desert streams were dry,
And first we knew what depths of need 
Thy love could satisfy.

We thank thee for the rest in Him
The weary only know-
The perfect, wondrous sympathy
We needs must learn below.

The touch that heals the broken heart 
Is never felt above;
His angels know His blessedness,
His way-worn saints, His love."



4.20.2012

Today I Have a Sense of- How Much I Owe


"When I stand before the throne, 
Dressed in beauty not my own,
When I see thee as thou art,
Love thee with un-sinning heart,
Then, Lord, shall I fully know, 
Not till then, how much I owe."

Do we really understand how much we owe to Christ? 

"If the whole realm of nature mine, that were a present far too small. Love so amazing, so divine. Demands my soul my life my all."

4.09.2012

Today I have a Sense of- Extraordinary Mercy

"Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity, 
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's...
The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love...
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities...
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust." - Psalm 103

May we never forget our wretchedness and His extraordinary mercy towards us! 
And as we stand in awe of His compassion may it put us on fire to share that extraordinary mercy with our dark and dying world.

3.20.2012

Today I Have a Sense of- Stepping out in Faith


  "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." -Hebrews 11:1

3.01.2012

Today I have a sense of- Refreshment and Restoration


"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you." -1Peter 5:10

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." Psalm 23:1,2